On Dogs

"Take a lesson from the dog, man's best friend. He accepts us for what we are. He does not gossip about us behind our backs. His life is a perfect sermon on affection and devotion. He will run his legs off for you. He will submit to almost any hardship to make you happy. He will risk his life for you if necessary. If you are moody or unkind at times, he will forgive you. He will not complain if his food is scant. He will bear burdens without complaint. He is thankful for small favors. He does not sulk or nurse a grudge against you. His additional friends do not lessen his love for you. He does not question your dress or looks. He is not temperamental like we humans. His purpose is to please on all occasions. He does not bore us with his troubles. His thanks and appreciation are genuine... He does not pry into your private affairs. He never double crosses you. His is not to question why, but to do and perchance to die for you. He trusts you implicitly. He is a living symbol of faith, hope, and love. Yes, brother, he is a builder, for such a friend does something constructive to our character."

---James Nankivell

"Here this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtures of Man, without his Vices. This praise, which would be unmean flattery if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just tribute to the Memory of Boatswain, a Dog."

---Lord Byron

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."

---Woodrow Wilson

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perserverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."

---Robert Benchley

"If your house burns down, rescue the dogs. At least they'll be faithful to you."

---Lee Marvin

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."

---Mark Twain

Things you can learn from your dog

When your loved one comes home, run to greet him.
Eat with gusto.
When it's hot, drink lots of water.
Take naps.
Don't bite, just growl.
Give unconditional love.
Stay close to your loved one in times of distress.
When you want something badly, dig for it.

---Author unknown

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can overlook it when something goes wrong through no fault of yours and those who love you take it out on you,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer the world tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, or politics,
Then, my friend, you are almost as good as your dog.

---Author unknown

What Dogs Do For Us

Catch Frisbees.
Keep a night alone from being truly lonely.
Get us outside on beautiful fall days, rainy days and snowy winter days.
Listen to our singing.
Treat us like celebrities when we come home.
Warm up our beds on cold nights.
Make our hearts more vigorous.
Alert us to the arrival of the mail.
Help us live a little longer.
Make us smile.
Agree with everything we say.
Warm our knees with their chins.
Provide a use for old tennis balls.
Signal when a thunderstorm is coming.
Pull sleds.
Help lower our blood pressure.
Test how fast we can run.
Keep the squirrels from overtaking our yards.
Teach us the meaning of unconditional love.

---Author unknown

To err is human, to forgive, canine.

---Author unknown

Why Dogs are Better than Women

Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
No dog ever brought a Kenny G or Michael Bolton album.
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs never want foot rubs.
Dogs find you amusing when you are drunk.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger than a lobster dinner.
Dogs think you sing great.
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs like it when you leave the toilet seat up.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by a different name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a great looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate them.
A dog's disposition does not change once a month.
Dogs never examine a relationship.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
No dog ever put on 30 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs don't criticize.
Dogs understand that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
Dogs don't worry about gems.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you have had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry.
Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
You never have to wait for a dog -- they're always ready to go.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs aren't chatty. Hell, they can't even talk.

---Author unknown

Why Dogs are Better than Men

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.
Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and then never laugh at how you throw).
Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, the really worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
Dogs understand what "no" means.
Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.
Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
You can house train a dog.
You can force a dog to take a bath.
Dogs don't correct your stories.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.
Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
Dogs admit it when they're lost.
Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
Dogs take care of their own needs.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
Dogs are nice to your relatives.

---Author unknown

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